The whole point of doing laundry is to have the clothes be cleaner coming out than they were going in. Unfortunately, students at Southern Illinois University are finding that doing laundry can actually make clothes filthier.
Much, much, filthier.
Police at the university in Carbondale, Illinois are seeking a serial pooper who has been dropping loads in loads of laundry in the Abbott Hall campus dormitory.
“I was like OK this is really embarrassing. I’m not going to tell anybody ever,” said one student. “And so I didn’t until my R.A. friend was talking about it and I was like, ‘Oh my god I have to tell everyone now.’ And this happened to me and I threw clothes away and I’m really upset about it.”
Another student, Brian Piller told student newspaper The Daily Egyptian, that he too was a victim.
“I went down into the laundry room to wash my clothes and I opened one of the washers and noticed that it smelled like someone had taken a dump in there,” he said.
“It kind of surprised me,” Pillar said. “I wondered if maybe someone had had an accident in their clothes or something. It never occurred to me that, you know, someone would poop on clothes in the laundry room.”
Indeed. Someone did.
According to reports, the serial pooper has struck at least eight times since September. The laundry room does not have a camera, which has some students suggesting it be guarded by a resident adviser.
Anyone with information as to the identity of the serial pooper is advised to contact Southern Illinois University’s Department of Public Safety.
Next, read about Colorado’s “mad pooper” wanted for repeatedly defecating in front yards. Then, read about the 143-ton ball of poop, fat, and condoms that clogged London’s sewage system.