The Accomplishments Of Kim Jong-Il As Understood By North Koreans

Published December 27, 2014
Updated January 11, 2018

The Accomplishments Of Kim Jong Il: Birth

Father Son

AFP/Getty Images Kim Jong-Il (R) and his father Kim Il-Sung (L) inspecting a soccer ground in Pyongyang in 1992.

When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mother home from the hospital.

Comrade Kim Jong Il was born in a secret mountain base, deep behind enemy lines, on the sacred Mount Paektu. This is contrary to the lies of imperialists, who insist he was born in relative safety in Khabarovsk, Siberia, in 1942.

Every member of his extended family was a hero in revolutionary struggle, and consequently he grew up with what the official history calls “a strong and daring character” that enabled him to carry out any task he set his mind to.

Richard Stockton
Richard Stockton is a freelance science and technology writer from Sacramento, California.