Archibald Armstrong, The Sheep Thief Who Became A Court Jester
Wikimedia CommonsArchibald Armstrong was a notorious sheep thief prior to becoming a jester.
Archibald “Archy” Armstrong was a favored court jester of King James VI and I of Scotland and England. Hailing from Scotland, Armstrong was a sheep thief before he became a fool in 1606. By 1612, he had been granted a pension of two shillings per day and hand-tailored silk clothing.
He became popular among the courtiers and attained great influence in the court, but it didn’t take long for Armstrong to let his newfound status get to his head. According to the 1911 Encyclopedia Britannica, Armstrong quickly fell out of favor as his attitude became more presumptuous and mischievous.
In 1623, he went to Spain with Prince Charles and Lord Buckingham, where his misconduct apparently reached a boiling point. He made jokes that offended Buckingham so greatly that the lord threatened to have him hanged. In response, Armstrong joked that “dukes had often been hanged for insolence, but never fools for talking.”
Once Buckingham died in 1628, Armstrong made William Laud, a bishop in the Church of England, the new butt of his jokes. Once, in Laud’s presence, Armstrong jested, “Great praise be given to God and little laud to the Devil.” It should be noted that Laud was a fairly short man, standing at just five feet tall.
Armstrong was ultimately ejected from the court after Laud complained of his behavior. That very same day, Armstrong was “to have his coat pulled over his head and be discharged the king’s service and banished the king’s court.”
He ultimately settled in London as a money-lender. After Laud’s arrest in 1641, however, Armstrong published a humorous account titled Archy’s Dream; sometimes Jester to his Majestie, but exiled the Court by Canterburie’s malice.
After reading about some of history’s most famous court jesters, learn about the history of the dunce cap and how it transformed from a sign of high intelligence to a classroom punishment. Or, learn about Agnès Sorel, the first official royal mistress.
