These Vintage Ads Prove That Thanksgiving Is One Of The Weirdest Holidays Ever

Published November 24, 2015
Updated February 15, 2018

Thanksgiving is already an odd holiday, but these vintage advertisements make Thanksgiving seem even weirder.

Thanksgiving is already an odd holiday, built as it is on the fraudulent belief that settlers were at peace with indigenous populations before the genocide began. These vintage advertisements make Thanksgiving seem even weirder, though.

Let’s take a look back at the good old days, when children gleefully slaughtered turkeys, casual chauvinism made the dinner extra tasty, and the Joneses’ Thanksgiving cards cranked the racism against Native Americans up to 11:

Weird Thanksgiving Cranberry Candles Copy
We're happy this hasn't survived the test of time.The Vintage News

Weird Thanksgiving Greetings
Inexplicably creepy.Fanpop

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Dead Table
Apparently cooking the turkey is something new these days. Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Chef
Keep this ad in mind, Kenwood appliance owners.Huffington Post

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Squaw
Nothing says true love like quasi-racist Thanksgiving wooing. Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Sauce Boss
Mayonnaise goes well with everything, if you're a sauce boss.The Vintage News

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Goblin
Sorry I can’t come to your party, but I can leave this rotting jack-o-lantern at your house instead. We cool?Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Racist
What were we thankful for back then? Apparently the fact it was somehow okay to make fun of Native Americans.Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Living
The greeting card for those family members who believe you may have met your untimely end at the hands of an axe murderer.Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Welcome
Old Thanksgiving proverb: If a homeless man carrying logs shows up at your door on Thanksgiving, be sure to give him a vegetarian meal before telling him to leave your property, or you will call the police. Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Creepy Kid
Some do not own an axe, and therefore have to send their creepiest child outside to scare the Thanksgiving turkey to death. Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Reprieve
You’ve spared our lives, now let us sing you the song of our people. Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Independence
Wrong holiday, turkey. Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Almond Roca
The Vintage News

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Salt Shaker
Turkeys are the reason for the season-ing. Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Eat Us
Morbid poetry: What Thanksgiving dreams are made of. Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Pilgrims
I’ve got a bad feeling about this...Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Montalban
I am Pilgrim Ricardo Montalban, and I welcome you to Thanksgiving dinner. Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Butcher
I may have eaten some fermented cranberries, because I just saw a fat, knife-wielding baby riding a turkey. Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Cherub
Each cob is painstakingly delivered ear by ear — on the backs of tiny corn cherubs. Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Dressed
Every girl’s crazy about a sharp dressed...turkey? Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Driving
Turkeys: better drivers than Uber employees. Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Knife Fork
This bird comes pre-loaded with cutlery, for your convenience! Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Marriage
Be sure to sit one full turkey-width away from your spouse on Thanksgiving, lest you wish to be burdened with a pointy-beaked firstborn . Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Mirror
Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the tastiest one of all? Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Pumpkin Rider
Just a little further, Mr. Gobble, then you can rest — forever. Flickr

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Schenley
In 1942, men drank away their problems with Schenley Royal Reserve whiskey while eating their Thanksgiving dinner — over blueprints in front of a fighter plane. Why did this tradition have to end? Izismile

Weird Thanksgiving Photos Turkey Scarf
Turkey mothers: “Bundle up, it’s cold out there! Do you want to catch your death?” Flickr

Liked these ads? Be sure to check out these bizarre and offensive vintage advertisements.

Erin Kelly
An All That's Interesting writer since 2013, Erin Kelly focuses on historic places, natural wonders, environmental issues, and the world of science. Her work has also been featured in Smithsonian and she's designed several book covers in her career as a graphic artist.
Savannah Cox
Savannah Cox holds a Master's in International Affairs from The New School as well as a PhD from the University of California, Berkeley, and now serves as an Assistant Professor at the University of Sheffield. Her work as a writer has also appeared on DNAinfo.
Cite This Article
Kelly, Erin. "These Vintage Ads Prove That Thanksgiving Is One Of The Weirdest Holidays Ever.", November 24, 2015, Accessed April 21, 2024.