From trying a corpse for perjury to selling the papacy to marry a cousin, Catholicism certainly has had its share of colorful Popes.
Pope Formosus (891-896)
While Formosus’ pontifical reign is noted more for its brevity than its breadth, it’s the absolute insanity that defined his afterlife that makes him one of the world’s craziest popes. A year following his death, the rather batty Pope Stephen VI ordered Formosus’ desiccated body to be exhumed and put on trial.
Known as the Cadaver Synod, Formosus’ corpse was dressed in papal vestments and convicted accordingly.In the ruling, it was declared that Formosus was unworthy of the pontificate, and all acts and measures made under his papacy were declared null and void.
Such was the case for three of his fingers, as they had been used in various “illegitimate” consecrations. So loathsome was Formosus’ body that clerics had it thrust into the River Tiber, only to be exhumed later by a monk and put onto trial–again–by Sergius III. This time, Formosus’ punishment was a beheading.
Pope Sergius III (904-911)
Source: All Posters
Beyond ordering the second Cadaver Synod on hapless Pope Formosus, Sergius III is best known for being the harbinger of harlots, transforming the papacy into what many historians dub the ‘pornacracy’ and ordering the murder of at least one of his papal predecessors.
In 904, it’s reported that the power-lusting Sergius ordered the strangulation murder of Antipope Christopher and Pope Leo V, though the historical validity of the latter is still shrouded in a bit of a mystery.
In between his bouts of bloodsport, Sergius still found time for love with his 15-year-old mistress Marozia. This tryst resulted in the birth of their illegitimate son, future Pope John XI. And with the exorbitant amount of power Marozia and her mother Theodora had on Sergius, some believed that the papal post became little more than a whorehouse.
Pope John XII (955-964)
Source: Wikimedia
At a mere 18 years old upon his introduction to the papacy, Pope John XII treated his position with a similar level of maturity. Known to have converted the Lateran Palace into a brothel, raped female pilgrims in St. Peter’s Basilica and to have just slept with a lot of women in general, John XII gives a new, somewhat sinister definition to a youthful libido.
But the pontifical party didn’t stop there; John XII was known to have invoked pagan gods when playing dice, made toasts with the devil and to have maimed and mutilated those who opposed him. Historians speculate that it was John’s philandering ways that contributed to his demise.
In 964, some report that he was beaten by the spouse of a woman with whom John was sleeping. Three days later, and without confession, John XII died.
Alexander VI (1492-1503)
Source: Insecula
An emblem of perhaps the lowest point for the papacy, Alexander VI (of Borgia fame) literally bought and forced his way into clerical office. Speculated to have a strange, borderline incestuous relationship with his daughter, Lucrezia, Alexander VI is reported to have fathered at least seven illegitimate children, many of whom he supported with church endowments.
Indiscriminate with his and the church’s money, when funds ran low Alexander would up the number of cardinals in exchange for money and implement outlandish and false charges on the wealthy. Typically, he’d have them jailed or murdered (whichever was easiest for allocating funds), all while stealing their money.
The craziest aspect of Alex, though, was how the de Medicis–also known for their unscrupulous behavior–described him. Said one upon Alexander’s entrance: “Now we are in the power of a wolf, the most rapacious perhaps that this world has ever seen. And if we do not flee, he will inevitably devour us all.”
Stephen VI (896-897)
Source: Dolfi
A lot can happen in a year, especially when an individual has quite a bit of power. To illustrate that, one needs not look much further than Pope Stephen VI.
A Roman of the powerful Spoleto family, Stephen’s papacy peaked with the macabre Cadaver Synod and ended with his imprisonment and strangulation a mere seven months later. Compelled either by his mother, Algetruda, or Emperor Lambert, Stephen commanded a Cadaver Synod to an unwilling Roman clergy regarding Pope Formosus.
Inextricable from the politics that defined the papacy during that time, the pontificate tried Formosus for perjury and remaining a bishop after being deposed, among other things.
As expected, the hyperbolic event and Stephen’s frankly bizarre punishment of a corpse that January caused quite a fatal stir. After being imprisoned for several months, Stephen’s short reign as an impious pope ended with asphyxiation.
Benedict IX (1032-1044, 1045, 1047-1048)
Source: Book of Bastards
When one is described by a saint as a “a demon from hell in disguise of a priest,” it is fairly obvious that this individual didn’t lead the most savory of lives. This can readily be said about Pope Benedict IX, who is primarily remembered today for being the only man to have served the papacy for three discontinuous periods and to have actually sold his office.
Somewhat analogous to a nagging cough, Benedict’s persistent uncertainty regarding his pontifical post inspired the ire of many.
First leaving his position in 1044 for money, Benedict return to reign for a month in 1045, only to sell his office again (to his Godfather) possibly in order to marry his cousin. His final resurgence to the papacy was met with much adversity, as Benedict was eventually forced out of Rome.
His stints in power were rather seedy, seeing as Benedict was accused of rape, adultery, routine homosexuality and bestiality. Said Pope Victor III, “His life as a pope was so vile, so foul, so execrable, that I shudder to think of it.”
